the camel is trying... he's struggling to breathe.
tomorrow i leave a lot of things...
the states
the comforts
the complaints
friends
family
my love
my things
my way of easy life
my sense of place, of home
i'd be lying if i said this has been easy...
if only 8% of the population of the whole world has a car, then those of us with cars truly are rich (see rob bell's nooma video about this)... and perhaps not too unlike our young rich friend who asked Jesus what more he could do (to inherit eternal life). he had - after all - followed all the rules to the letter.
"sell everything you have.."
none of these proved easy answers for our friend... and 2000 years later they still aren't easy. giving away 'things' is difficult, especially when we look around and see how many 'things' we have... i can't count the number of things that have been bagged in / boxed up / thrown out.. and parting with those things? it feels like a hump on this camel is struggling... pushing prodding its way through a narrow needle's eye.
but how many 'things' did i actually use? part of this trip is an experiment: how little can one live on? how little can this one live on?
"give to the poor."
..isn't easy either... recently there have been great discussions on the poor: what cultural elements affect poverty? when should we give to the poor? how can we test the motives of the poor? should we? in the mire of these questions, the camel can just give up... it's not worth it.
"then come, follow me."
.. is another tough one... Jesus, where are You? where are You working? do You want us all as missionaries? then what happens to america? what happens to the hot dog salesman at the baseball game? who ministers to him? here the camel becomes confused as to which needle's eye he's actually supposed to go through. but this camel's going to managua, he wants to see where Jesus is indeed moving... he's trying not to be selfish, he's trying to move without being in control, this camel's trying to find You, Lord.
i'll try not to be this winded in the future... i'm sorry - just a lot on my mind, recently...
one day left.
go camel, go.
e <><
3 comments:
Eric - We'll be praying for you during your trip. You are doing such an amazing thing. I love this post, it reminds me of the simple things in life, mainly Him. I can't wait to hear how God uses you, transforms you and others during this time. Just make sure to come back before October...we couldn't imagine anyone else shooting the photos at our wedding.
Blessings,
Wendy
that is so true Eric! thanks for sharing your thoughts - don't worry about the length. i feel that confusion too... yet, we must press on, through the needle - on to where God calls... I am so excited for you camel! :)
Reading this post...just makes me miss you and also grateful that I got to share a year of watching you follow Jesus. You are an amazing man...friend...dear sharer of the office wall. I will be praying, and i will do what I can do to minister to the salesmen at the dodger game and the people living in every corner I encounter. Fully devoted. Fully living. Fully worshiping. This striving will lead us through the eye of the needle. Jesus makes it all possible. I think that's the whole point right? It's almost a joke, totally impossible...but HE leads us on the WAY. And my friend...you are lighting the way for so many others who are watching you...you lead the way to the freedome in Jesus and I'm so grateful...and we miss you so much. In the aching good way where we know you are where you are meant to be...but in the way that you are just too vibrant to not leave a huge hole in our lives. BTW...VBS was off the hook. The Holy Spirit moved in amaaazing ways.
Kristie
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