Why?

(part 1 in a 2 part series about why i'm here and what i'm doing in nicaragua)

I need to clarify something, and I beg your pardon, because this is mostly for myself, but indulge me for a second. I want this to be very clear:

No one is forcing me to be here.

No one in the U.S., no one in Nicaragua, no one in this whole earth, and, I include, no one in heaven is forcing me to live in Nicaragua. God is certainly not forcing me to do that. That's right, I don't believe in a God who meanly forces his faithful to endure endless mosquitos, cold receptions, stories of heartbreak / shattered lives, bitter loneliness, and worst of all... a severe shortage of root beer. ;) Here's the thing about the God I believe in (feel free to argue/agree in the comments section)... My God is proud. If I went to South Dakota and decided to herd sheep, God would be proud of me. If I lived in Santa Monica and decided to design web sites, God would be proud of me. If I went to Nicaragua to help out His various workers there, He would be proud.

Let's take a different tack, so you can see what kind of God I'm talking about. Think about the ocean, think about how often waves come in, and imagine with me that with every breaking wave, someone on that beach told you, "I love you." Over and over and over they kept repeating that phrase - such a simple one - but it carried (and carries) so much weight. And when they said that word "you", you knew they meant the real YOU. Not the one that you put on for others... when you go out to dinner, or the one you might have for family reunions, or for friends, for coworkers, for your spouse or kids sometimes. You knew when that voice said, "I love you", it drilled right down to the core of who you are - to the very definition of you. The "you" at the peak and depth of your life - when you first discovered what you really, genuinely loved to do - and you did it well. When you first lost something that you treasured. When you were so frustrated because your life kept leading you to locked doors, or when you were completely lost. When some 'thing', some 'issue', some 'habit' grabbed you so hard - it wouldn't let your life go, and when you felt alone in it. On the sunniest day in your life, and on the day when the rain fell so hard it broke your back. And that someone loved you through all of that.

Can you imagine love like that? The answer is obviously no. Simply put, there are no earthly models for that kind of love which, if it were true, would have to be unconditional. You and I can't love unconditionally. We can't receive unconditional love from anyone here on earth either. But the more and more I get to know God, the more I see that this is why He's called "omnipotent", "all-powerful", and "almighty". His greatest display of power is unconditional love. Two interesting notes on unconditional love:
1) We need it, by the way, it's the only way we can survive - life without it is empty and purpose-less (which sounds a lot like death).
2) Unconditional love says that you and I are perfect, and - you'll see where we're going here - unconditional love is proud of us.

Now if we try and wrap our heads around that infinite and unconditional love, you can see that it gets pretty overwhelming pretty fast. But if you began to see and understand that kind of love - even if you were just scratching the surface - what would you do? I think that is life's essential question, knowing that you are loved unconditionally, what will you do? Many different people have many different reactions, and I don't pretend to have the correct one, but as I've begun to know this love, I want to respond to it. So that's it. For me, living in Nicaragua is a response to that kind of love. It's not a duty, it's not an indentured servitude, and catch this as well, it's not a quest for heavenly brownie points either. You see, with unconditional love, we've already been given all the brownie points we could possibly get. This life, then, is like a bonus round. Our final score is already accounted for in Heaven - and we are truly winners - so what will you do with the bonus time you have here on this earth?

lov,e <>